The Way It Should Be
by bosswoman88
Summary: my take on how the season 2 finale should end :)


My first attempt at a Nashville fan-fic. Wanted to get it up before the finale airs. Would love to get some feedback!

_The Way It Should Be_

They stood in the front row watching Rayna. Him and Maddie, with her tucked in under his shoulder.

He could never explain what a relief it had actually been that the big secret was finally out in the open, that him and Maddie could spend time together now without him and Rayna worrying about what paparazzi was going to take their picture out in public together and make the connection. He personally didn't give a damn what they thought about him, but it wasn't his life he worried about anymore, it was Maddie's.

Every time she called him Dad, it was the damn most amazing feeling he'd ever had in his life.

"She's so good," Maddie said with total admiration as she watched her mother work the stage. "Even after doing it for so many years. Look, the crowd is going crazy!"

"Yes she is," Deacon agreed with a smile, never taking his eyes off Rayna. "You should be proud of her."

He knew he was. She was back in the spotlight where she belonged. Dropping her album, working hard at getting her new label off its feet. This was Rayna's big moment, the one she'd been working for since that day she told Edgehill to basically kiss her ass and walked out their door. She'd never given up on that dream for a second, and she'd stayed true to herself even through the worst of times.

He barely heard the words of her song, but he didn't need to. He knew them by heart, because it was that song they'd written together a few month ago. He just watched her.

She had never shined brighter.

At the end of the upbeat song, Rayna addressed the crowd, thanked her fans for supporting her, and then good ole' "Wheels Up" came out onstage. The crowd went wild. Luke was an entertainer, through and through. He always had been good at working the crowd and getting people riled up, and tonight was no exception.

"Is your mama singing with Luke tonight?"

Maddie shrugged. "I didn't think so. She didn't mention it."

Deacon tried to act like it didn't bother him, but couldn't shake the tension out of his shoulders.

It had taken months but him and Rayna, they were getting to a good place now finally. He had let go of all those demons following him around waiting for him to fail. They were finally getting the hang of this three-way parenting triangle. But he couldn't let go of the fact that he still loved her beyond belief. He'd never let go of that, even if she had. He didn't want her to be the one, she just….always had been.

On stage, Luke and Rayna were flirting it up for the crowd. And as the world watched, As Deacon and Maddie watched, he got down on one knee and flipped off that ridiculous hat of his.

_What the hell?_ _That better be a goddamn rabbit he's pulling out of there_. He wasn't really going to-

Sure enough. With a ring in his hand, he asked Rayna to marry him.

The crowd roared at a deafening level, cheering "say yes, say yes."

Maddie's face looked like a storm cloud. "Oh, this is _not_ good."

Deacon's arm around her shoulder went completely tense.

And they waited along with everyone else for Rayna to answer.

Deacon felt everything slipping away. Again. And he couldn't lose control like that in front of his daughter.

"Listen uh…I gotta run," he said to Maddie. "You're going home with your mom, right?"

"Yes, I told her id meet her backstage. But wait, where are you going?" Maddie asked, troubled.

"Just got something I gotta….do. Be a good girl, okay? I'll talk to you later." He disappeared through the crowd, barely hearing or seeing anything. He just needed to get the hell out of there.

Up on that stage, Rayna was standing on that stage looking stunned. She'd been damn surprised to see Luke come out onstage in the first place. He was supposed to be playing a show in New Mexico tonight. And besides, things had been….wierd between them since last week when that People magazine article came out after the Fort Campbell show. It wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't open it to the middle and find a picture of herself and Deacon onstage staring at each other like they wanted to rip each other's clothes off. Luke hadn't thought that moment-or that picture- was too pretty either, and he had let her known exactly what he thought of it.

The crowd was waiting. Luke was waiting, looking up from his position on one knee expectantly. And she couldn't say no. Because when you're on a stage in front of 50,000 people, and you're dropping a new album, and you're one half of the hottest power couple in country music, you DON'T say no.

Her eyes went to where Deacon and Maddie had been standing next to the stage. Maddie looked visibly upset. And Deacon was gone.

She said yes. The crowd roared. Luke pushed a giant diamond onto her finger, and jumped up off his knees. He swung her around and kissed her in front of the world.

Rayna pasted a fake smile on her face, but her eyes kept going to that empty spot next to the stage.

It all felt so wrong.

Deacon had had some pretty bad nights, some pretty long nights in his life, but this had to be one of the top ones. He didn't drink, because as crazy as it sounded, he didn't want to. As much as it hurt, as easy as it would be to drink until he blacked out and didn't feel anymore, he could never go near the edge of that wagon again. He had a daughter that needed him.

So he just sat. And thought.

At 10 am the next morning, he was still sitting in that swing on the front porch. Thinkin'. He remembered what Juliette's manager Glen had said to him that night in Chicago, said out of anger, sure, but that had stuck with him for months. _You don't get to give lectures on doing and thinking, Deacon. All I've ever seen you do is think. _

An SUV slowed to a stop in front of the house, and Maddie got out. Teddy was dropping Maddie off to spend the day and night with him.

Deacon pasted a smile on his face as she came up the sidewalk and gave him a hug. For now, he'd shove away the thinkin thoughts and just concentrate on her.

Him and Teddy were formally polite to each other as they exchanged information about Maddie's agenda for the next two days.

It was getting easier. They would without a doubt never like one another, but there was a mutual understanding that had finally developed. They both loved Maddie, and they both wanted what was best for her. And if they had to deal with each other to be a part of her life, well damn he would suck it up and keep his opinions about the mayor to himself.

After Maddie walked in the house, Teddy turned to him. "She's pretty upset about the….events of last night," he said. "So you might not want to bring it up."

"Can't say I blame her."

Teddy surprised him when he said "Can't say I blame her either."

They spent a few hours on Maddie's guitar playing before he had to take her to her soccer practice, and he could see she was feeling down. And the song that came out of her today, well, he couldn't hide his pride. She was doing what people like them- like musicians, him and her, did best. Letting her feelings out in a song.

"Something must be bothering you a lot huh. That was kindof a sad one."

Maddie shrugged and stopped strumming.

"You know you can…tell me things. If you want, I mean," he said.

It had taken them awhile, to be able to get to this awkward place between evolving from Uncle Deacon to Dad, but they were finally getting there. It was comfortable now. Familiar. They were figuring it out.

"I know."

"So….are you gonna make me drag it out of you?"

Maddie sighed. "I don't want my mom to marry Luke. Everything will be ruined," she blurted out. "He has his own house and his own kids…"

Deacon swallowed hard around the big lump in his throat. It made his chest hurt, to think of what Maddie was saying. He'd lost his chance. Again. "It won't be ruined, just….changed, I guess. You want your mama to be happy, right?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation.

"But I'm sure your mama wants you to be happy too. If something is bothering you, you should tell her."

Then she dropped the bomb question on him.

"Did you ever think about marrying my mom?"

Deacon laughed, the way he did, that deep, quiet sound. "Yeah. Yeah, I did. Came pretty close once."

Maddie looked so sad. Because he knew she didn't need to ask what happened.

"We could have been a family." She said quietly.

Deacon sighed and sat down next to her and put his arm around her. "Listen here, Maddie," he said without hesitation. "We ARE a family. It might not look like everyone else's but that doesn't matter."

Maddie seemed to think about this for a few minutes. "Okay," she said quietly. "I'm not sorry I found out, you know. Even with all the mess it caused."

"I'm not sorry either. Not one second. You're the best part of my life every day."

She managed a smile.

"Do you….still love her?"

Oh the brutal honesty that kids required. "Yeah." Deacon said without hesitation. "Yeah I do. And I always will."

"You should tell her that. Maybe she'd change her mind."

He laughed softly. "Well I doubt that, but it's a nice thought. Sometimes life doesn't turn out the way you want it to, sweetheart."

"I know," she said quietly.

He took her to her Saturday afternoon soccer practice and watched from the sidelines. Poor kid, she tried hard but it was a good thing she'd inherited him and Rayna's musical talents because she'd never be much of an athlete. Seemed like she had fun though, and she wasn't embarrassed to walk over with her friends and say "this is my dad."

Felt pretty damn good to hear that.

He took her to Axel's and watched her drool over fancy new guitars while he picked out strings . He would have bought her one in a second, but Rayna's words a few weeks ago always were in the back of his mind. Now d_on't go out and buy her a bunch of stuff like I know you wanna. I like the girls to know they have to earn things. _

Maybe for her birthday, Deacon thought now. He had a lot of those to make up for.

He took her out for dinner- Chinese food because he knew that was her favorite, and then they went to listen to a band play the early show at a little place down town. It was a good, simple, sweet day, and the dumb grin he couldn't seem to get off his face surely showed it. Just a dad and his girl spending the day together. This was the way it should be. This was the kind of life he'd always wanted, more than anything. He'd spent an awful lot of years on the road, met a lot of people, been a lot of places, but a family, well, that was the missing piece of the puzzle. That was more of a measure of success than any number of songs written, number one hits, or CMA awards.

"This was a really fun day, Dad," Maddie seemed to echo his thoughts after they were leaving the restaurant and climbing back into his truck. "But I wish Mom and Daphne were here."

"Me too," he said. "Guess we will have to get them to join us next time."

"Yeah," she said with a sweet smile. "Next time." 2

After that it was back to his house to help her with a science project she was supposed to finish.

Good thing she didn't need much help, because he didn't know much about building models of biomolecular something-or-another. He'd barely made it through high school, always sitting in classes thinking about how pointless it was to be listening to lectures about English and geometry when he could be sittin by the river writing and playing instead.

Maddie finished the project, got herself into some PJS, and then picked out a movie to watch- scary, because she loved scary movies and wasn't allowed to watch them at home. Her mama was a big chicken about scary movies, she said. He remembered that. Some things never changed. They ate popcorn, talked about school and her friends and her soccer team, and before long Maddie fell asleep on the couch tucked under his arm.

He got a blanket from the closet and covered her to her chin. Leaning over and kissed her forehead. 22222

"Goodnight, sweet girl."

"G'night Dad. I love you."

She melted a layer of the pain from his heart every time she said those words. "Love you too."

He turned out the light on the end table, and turned the tv down real low. Then he sat in the leather recliner in dark and watched her sleep for a long time, all the memories of all the years running through his head. The treasured things he _did_ remember, he kept those so close to his heart.

He remembered the first time he'd ever seen Maddie. That was one thing the booze could never take away.

She was six months old. He was fresh out of that fifth stint in rehab, the one that finally stuck.

How it had burned him from the inside out, all those months sitting inside those walls, 6 months into a year-long stay to pick up a newspaper and find out that well what the hell- The reigning queen of country music had gone off and gotten married awhile back, and now she just had a baby with her new husband.

A baby. Rayna'd had a child with someone else. The pain of that almost killed him more than any symptoms of withdrawal. But he had sure as hell come this far, and he wasn't gonna give them the satisfaction of knowing they'd all been right about him. He got sober. And he stayed that way.

A few month after he got home, he got the call from her manager.

For some unknown godforsaken reason, Rayna wanted him to go back on tour with him as lead guitar.

It was a terrible idea, and they both knew it was going to be nothing but sweet torture. But she needed him onstage, and he needed to be anywhere close to her. It was the only thing that would keep him from slipping right back to that black hole he'd just come out of. He had never been able to say no to her. Fine, he agreed. They would meet the next day to go over the details.

Deacon waited impatiently, anxiously, tapping his fingers on the edge of the table.

And then there she was, walking through the door. The first time he'd seen her in over a year. Last time he'd seen her, she'd dropped his ring at her feet, gotten into her truck, and drove away. This time she had one of those plastic baby seat things swung over her arm. Funny how things could change when you weren't looking. Or drunk.

He stood up. "Hey."

"Hey," Rayna said softly. "Thanks for coming."

He nodded.

"You look good." Deacon said. And he meant it. For just having a baby a few months ago, you couldn't even tell. She looked as slim and pretty as ever. Maybe a little tired around the edges, but that was about it. He tried to ignore the ring that wasn't his on her finger.

"You too," Rayna said sincerely. And she meant it too. His eyes were clearer than she'd seen in a long time. If only he could stay that way. So many If Onlys. She set the baby carrier on the table.

Deacon didn't want to look. He didn't want to see this child she'd created with someone else. But he did anyway. He'd read in the paper it was a girl. She was a tiny bald little thing with a pink headband, asleep with her thumb in her mouth. He cleared his throat. "And whose this little darlin?"

"This is Madaline Grace." Rayna said, unable to keep the pride out of her voice. "Our little Maddie."

"She's beautiful."

"Thanks, Deacon. She is. Doesn't sleep much, but she sure is pretty."

He nodded, swallowed around that rock in his throat. "So…uh…"

"The tour," she said, turning back to professional. "I want you to come back and play with me. I can't seem to find a decent lead to save my life and the songs just don't sound the same without you playing them."

"Do you really think that's a good idea?"

"I guess we won't know until we try it out, right?"

He found himself saying yes. Sometimes he didn't know why he kept coming back. He'd been nothing but a damn good amount of trouble for her since the day that they met. But if Rayna would have called him from a country on the other side of the world and said "can you come play for me tonight?", he would have been on a plane in 10 min.

"Great," Rayna said with a sigh of relief. "We leave Monday for Dallas. I'm gonna run upstairs to Buckys office and get your contract, and then it's a done deal."

She made a motion to leave.

"Wait, what about the...sleeping beauty?" He gestured towards the baby asleep in her chair.

"I'll just be five min," she said. "She wont wake up, just sit by her for a sec?"

Of course as soon as Rayna left the room, the baby opened one eye and looked at him. Then she opened the other. And started screaming blue murder.

"Oh boy," he muttered, rocking her seat. Didn't do a damn bit of good, she kept right on howling.

With a sigh, he reached over and undid the straps that locked her in place, and picked her up. She kind of dangled there for a second, kicking her chubby legs and staring at him. But she stuck her fist in her mouth and shut right up.

He tucked her into the crook of his arm, and she stared up at him with big blue eyes.

And he fell in love for the second time in his life

"Hey there," he said softly, rocking her. "Well this ain't so bad now, is it." He hadn't been around babies in a pretty long time, since his niece Scarlett was little, and she was a big girl going on 10 now. "I guess I still remember how it works."

She just looked up at him with big pretty blue eyes.

"It should have been me, you know," he whispered. "I should have been your daddy. But don't tell. Our secret."

Rayna's heart almost stopped when she came back in shuffling papers 10 min later. "Sorry it took so long I-."

And there was Deacon sitting there holding the baby. The daughter he would never get to know was his. Because that was how it worked when you were the biggest up and coming thing in country music. You didn't marry the alcoholic drunk who was the father of your child. You married the man who was successful, stable, and willing to give your child the life and home she deserved. You did what you were supposed to do to save face. Even if it broke your heart into a million pieces. Even if you cried yourself to sleep silently every night after the man lying in bed next to you went to sleep.

"I'm sorry," Rayna said quickly, setting the papers down on the table. "I didn't think she would wake."

"It's fine," Deacon said, not taking his eyes off the tiny face staring up at him. "She's okay."

"Okay then," she said, clearing rattled.

"Okay," he said. "Let's go on tour."

The baby gave him a big drooly grin. And then spit up on his shirt.

That day forged a bond between him and Maddie that Deacon had never expected. Looking back now, he didn't think Rayna had really expected it either. Maddie spent a good portion of the first five years of her life on tour with them. The earliest memories of her life she would ever have were of falling asleep on buses, in hotel rooms, with the likes of the biggest stars in country music buzzing around her, and the constant hum of music putting her to sleep. She took her first steps after a rehearsal with Rayna coaxing her across the stage of the Ryman auditorium, how many kids could say that? Once when she was 3, she got away from the babysitter and made her stage debut right in the middle of a sold out arena performance.

And Maddie was always his little sidekick, always wanting to strum his guitars until he got her a miniature one of her own. He taught her to ride a bike backstage at an arena somewhere in Colorado. He taught her to spit watermelon seeds at a state fair in Texas. He couldn't even count the number of times he'd been coaxed onto Rayna's bus after a set to watch some princess movie, sing her a song because she couldn't sleep, or listen to her funny little made up stories. It hadn't taken much persuading, really. There wasn't anywhere else he would have rather been. Him and Maddie, that bond had been unbreakable since that first day, years before he ever knew she was his. Rayna was right, he had always been there. Even if he didn't know it.

It changed after Daphne was born. Maddie was five then, started school that fall, and when new baby girl Daphne came along, Rayna took a year off of touring to be home with her family and make a new album. He stayed with his program, damned determined that this time it was gonna stick.

When they went back out on tour the following year, the girls stayed home with Teddy, and Rayna flew home to them every chance she got, or Teddy brought them on the weekends when they were close to home. It was much, much easier in the summer when the girls could come along, and Rayna was much happier to have her babies nearby. In some ways, it was just the same as it always had been on stage. Off stage, it took awhile but they got the hang of it. They were friends. It was as good as it would ever get, and they both knew it.

When Teddy was around, Rayna tried to steer Deacon clear of him, but it didn't always work. He was Uncle Deacon to her girls, and they adored him. They flew into his arms every time they saw him. They loved him, and he loved them just as much as they were his own. Him and Teddy could hardly stand to be in the same room without wanting to take a swing at each other. Teddy had gotten the life with her that was supposed to be his. But Teddy wasn't an idiot. He'd been her second choice. He'd gotten her hand in marriage, but he'd never truly gotten her heart.

Sometime now when he looked back on it, Deacon thought maybe he should have guessed Maddie was his all along. Daphne was more like Rayna, a sparkler, an attention seeker, silly and funny and outgoing. Maddie was different. She was a quiet thinker. Like him. But boy on the other hand, she could sure dig her heels in when she wanted something too.

She probably got that from both of them, he realized, amused.

He had told Rayna once that he'd never forgive her for lying about his daughter. Watching Maddie sleep now, he realized how wrong he'd been. He didn't need to forgive Rayna, because she hadn't done anything wrong. She'd done what she needed to do to protect their little girl. He thought of all Maddie's questions in the kitchen before. The lie he had told her. _Do you remember the day I was born_?

It killed him to hear her ask that. How do you tell a kid you don't remember half of that year, nevertheless the night she was born? So he lied. To protect her. _Yep_, he said. _I was on the road_.

Because that's what parents did for their children. They protected them. At all costs.

Rayna slid another box off the shelf in her closet to add to the growing pile in the middle of the room without hardly paying attention to what was in it. She knew she should really just call a moving company to do this for them, but the idea of strangers clomping through their home and touching their stuff deterred her.

She was supposed to be labeling these boxes, so they went in the right rooms, in the new house, nice and neat and organized, but her mind was elsewhere and her heart was not in it at all.

It made her sad to see this house go, but in her heart she knew it was the right thing to do for many reasons. The mortgage on the house she'd taken out to start the label was gigantic. And really, this house was too big for just her and the girls alone anyway. She'd had a long talk about it with Maddie and Daphne, and it was a decision the three of them had agreed on and made together. They'd also agreed that the house wasn't what made your family, it was the people. She knew it would be an adjustment but the girls would be okay. She'd found a slightly smaller, but much more reasonably priced home in a gated community nearby. The best part for her was it was away from Belle Meade and all the country club gossiping biddies she couldn't stand anyway.

Rayna half-heartedly pulled another box off the shelf in the closet.

She was surprised when she opened it, and found it was full of things from the memorial site of the crash last year. Teddy bears, burnt out candle remnants, cards and posters and flowers from the fans that loved her. It was nice to feel the love but "gosh, I guess they thought I was gonna go off and die on em," she murmured.

How depressing.

Her breath came out in a deep sigh. Best to put that box on the bottom of the pile before Daph and Maddie saw it. She knew how hard it had been on her girls, watching her go through that recovery.

The sun coming through the window glinted off something as she carried the box to the pile waiting go into the garage, and she paused and looked down.

And stuck in the middle of all of it, was that ring. The one she'd kept hidden from Teddy all those years. The one she'd given back to Deacon at that very crash site the year before. She fished it out, cold and smooth in her hand.

Stunned beyond belief, she sunk to her knees in the middle of the floor and sat there staring at it for what seemed like forever.

"Well if that isn't a damn sign from the almighty, I don't know what is," she murmured.

She started to laugh. She laughed until her laughter turned to tears.

But she was Rayna James. She hadn't come this far to fold up like a tent when things got too hard.

She stood up, dusted herself off and went to get her phone to call Luke.

Rayna heard the doorbell ringing. She quickly rubbed the last tears from her eyes and got up off the sofa to answer it. She was surprised to find Deacon standing there on the front steps. She hadn't seen hide nor hair of him all week since the concert and Luke's disastrous proposal, and it worried her. Maddie had spent last weekend with him, and then told her he was going to the cabin. She didn't worry as much as she once had about him falling back off the wagon, but she still…worried. With someone like him, you always did. She wondered if she'd ever STOP worrying.

But his eyes were clear and it was obvious whatever he was there for, he had not been drinking.

"What the hell are you ringing the bell for?" She asked, grumpy. She was still fired up with her earlier conversation with Luke.

Deacon shrugged. "I just…didn't know, I guess…. I didn't know if you were alone."

He hadn't rang her doorbell in 15 years or more. Most of the time he just walked right in. It had drove Teddy crazy all the years he lived there, which she knew was probably why Deacon did it. But he was family anyway. Family didn't ring the damn bell.

She expected him to follow her into the house but he just stood there, on her front steps, with his hands in his pockets.

"We need to talk," he said in a low voice.

Funny how a year ago it had been her standing on his porch. She'd surprised the hell out of herself that night, and him too. But she'd meant every word. She would still mean every word, if she could find a way to say them.

"So talk," she said, crossing her arms in front of her and walking into the kitchen. To the other side of the kitchen as he followed her in. Far far away from him. Because her and Deacon getting too close to each other….was explosive. It always had been.

He seemed to be having trouble finding where to start. Then he noticed Maddie's school picture on the desk where the girls did their homework. He picked it up.

"When I look at her," he said slowly. "It amazes me. To think that out of all the pain and misery that came out of us being together, she came out of it too. She's the best part of both of us."

"She is," Rayna said with a smile.

"I love that kid so much, Ray. I want to be a dad she can be proud of." He had loved both of Rayna's before he knew Maddie was his, but now, when he looks at Maddie he can see little parts of himself, hopefully the good parts, and little parts of Rayna. But Maddie was her own person too, with her own personality. This sweet, smart little girl that was half of him and half of her. Not little, really. Pretty soon she'd been driving, and going off to prom, and college, and god forbid, he shuddered at the thought, some day he'd be walking her down the aisle on her wedding day.

But she'd always be his little girl.

He knew this was it, this time. He knew he'd never touch a bottle again, because he could never bear to see the disappointment in Maddie's face. And Rayna's.

"She is, Deacon. She loves you. You know that."

He nodded, and put the picture back down.

"Is that why you came here, to talk about Maddie?"

He could say yes. He could just say yeah, let's talk about her music lessons or her visitation schedule. And then leave. But those words came back to him. _All you ever _do_ is think._

He took a deep breath.

"Don't do it, Ray. Don't marry him." Deacon braced his hands against the counter. "You know it's the wrong thing to do."

She laughed. There was a edge of desperation in it. "I'm not doing _this_ with you right now, Deacon." She turned to go. "If that's all you can let yourself out."

"Why," Deacon said. "Because you can't?"

"Because I ….don't want to!"

"Why do you always have to pull away when we get close to figuring it out?"

"Figuring it out?" Rayna said. "Is that what you call this…mess?"

"Well, I don't know what you call it," He said hotly. "But you know I thought the last couple months we were…I don't know, getting to a good place. I sure as hell wouldn't call it a mess anymore."

"It _is_ a mess," her eyes got teary. "I'm the mess. And it hurts too much every time we go back to this…and lose it again. I wish we could just let it go."

"Did you ever wonder why?" Deacon said quietly. "Why we can't let it go?"

She couldn't answer. Because they both _knew_ why.

He walked towards her.

She felt like her heart would beat out of her chest. _Girl, this is the point where you better _run!

Deacon reached out and touched her arm.

She looked down at his hand on her arm. The arm with the hand that she'd taken the ring off of merely two hours before. She swallowed hard. "Deacon…."

"I love you, Rayna." He said softly, "Don't marry the wrong guy twice."

She wouldn't. Because Luke had left her house just barely an hour ago…with that ring back in his pocket or his hat or wherever he chose to stuff it. She didn't care as long as it wasn't on her finger. It had been a not very nice conversation, one that ended with painful, accusations that probably weren't true being hurtled by both of them.

_"I can't marry you. I care about you, but I'm not ready. My kids aren't ready. It's just too_ _soon."_

"_Deacon wins again, huh." _

_ "Deacon? What in god's name does he have to do with any of this?" Rayna asked defensively._

_ "I see the way you look at him. You say you have it all worked out, but that just aint true." _

_ "He's always going to be part of my life, Luke. He's family. And we have a daughter together." _

_ "So where does that leave me, Rayna? You know, I'm getting a little tired of being a spoke in this Deacon wheel that just keeps going 'round and around." He said, starting to get pissed. _

_ "I don't know," she said, louder than she meant to. "I thought it left me onstage with a ring on my finger! I thought this was all because you loved me, but is that all it is? Some kind of "I win over him" game?" _

_ Luke didn't say anything. "Think what you want, Rayna," he said, more calmly and quietly. "But either you're all in or you're all out. What's it gonna be?" _

_ "I need a few days to think this over." _

_ "It's now or never, sweetheart." _

_ If there was one thing Rayna James didn't go for, it was ultimatums. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "But I'm out." She slipped the ring off of her finger, walked over and set it on the counter. Then she left the room. He didn't come after her. She heard the kitchen door slam a few minutes later. _

And now Deacon was standing in front of her, looking at her like he always did, with such emotion in his eyes, and she was terrified. That look, that ache that was always between them. No matter how much she had tried to convince herself to feel something for someone else, someone like Teddy or even Luke, it never even came close. All these years there had been so much standing in the way of the two of them being together. Her marriage to Teddy, the unknown fact that he was Maddie's father. His addictions. But that was all gone now….so why was she still so damn scared? Finding that ring before had scared the hell out of her.

He took her face in his hands. "This is how it should be, Ray." he said softly. "You and me. It's always been you and me."

She closed her eyes, and the tears started to fall. 14 years worth of tears for all the nights she had laid away wishing for his arms around her, for the times she had proudly watched her daughter succeed at something, while knowing Deacon was missing it.

She shook her head. "I can't, Deacon."

"Why?"

"Because I'm…scared," she blurted out.

"Of me?"

"Of all of it. There's nothing standing in our way anymore," she whispered. "Maybe that's the part that scares me. "

"I get that," he said quietly. "But I've been thinking a lot, you know?" he said. "About everything that happened."

She looked sad. "Maddie's questions?"

"That and…other things."

He took a deep breath. "I miss you. I miss…us."

It made her heart hurt. Because she missed it too.

"We said we were going to move on," he said softly. "But I don't think we really have. It's still there, Rayna. I can feel it. You're gonna tell me you can't?"

She wanted to say that she couldn't. She wanted to say that she loved Luke, and she was going to marry Luke and have a life with him. But she couldn't. Because she could feel it too. It made her heart hurt, and it made her heart want him and everything they should have been.

Nothing was standing in their way now. No secrets, no anger. Nothing.

It was terrifying.

He took her face in his hands. "I want you, Rayna. I want us to be a family. I want to have that good life with you, and with Maddie and Daphne. It's never been anyone else but you."

Tears blurred her eyes. And she let him kiss them away.

"Why are you still here?" She whispered. "After all these years? You just keep….coming back."

"It's what I do," he said simply. "Because I love you, Ray. I always have."

All her fears slid away. She let herself melt into his loving arms and sweet kisses, scoop her up and carry her to the sofa. Let him love her. And finally, finally let herself love him back like he deserved.

_I have a life that's good. _


End file.
